Where have all the cowboys gone
by harbingeraz
Summary: Richonne AU inspired by the song Where have all the cowboys gone. Set in TN.
1. Chapter 1

It had all started with betrayal.

Rick had thought he knew what hurt was, but he was gravely mistaken. He'd believed he was immured to pain because hurt was leaving your life 400 miles away to try and start a new one. Hurt was going from being a cop to taking over your family's cattle farm because your daddy had died in a tractor accident after drinking too much and thinking he was invincible. Hurt was telling your 12-year-old son that his entire life was going to be uprooted and he'd have to leave his friends and loved ones behind. This wasn't hurt, this was calamity, pernicious agony, this was something else entirely. When he'd agreed to let Shane visit for Thanksgiving, since he was family, Rick didn't think much of it. Hell, they'd spent every holiday together, Shane, Carl, Lori, they were his world. He'd laud to anyone how Shane was his best friend and confident. They'd been friends in college, went to the academy together, were partners when Rick decided to stay in Georgia. Shane was his best man at his wedding, so when he had offered him time to spend with _their_ family over Thanksgiving, it was no recourse.

Rick had left them on the porch, sitting in the shade with glasses of lemonade while he and Carl took the Saturday after the holiday to visit a few farms for discounted parts. Lori didn't want to go and so Shane had offered to keep her company. This had happened on numerous occasions in Georgia. Upon returning from their adventures, Rick and Carl stopped by the farmers market to pick up some produce and sunflowers for Lori, who loved having them in vases. Rick sent Carl off to check on the herd and entered the two-story farmstead. The eerie quiet of the house taking him by surprise. He'd assumed Lori and Shane had gone for a walk, but their shoes were still at the front of the house. It wasn't until he went towards the back door that he heard raised voices. The polemic dispute clearly wafting through the crisp Autumn air.

Standing on the other side of the glass door Rick watched as his wife and his best friend argued. The tears glistening in her eyes as he stomped on the back porch, the thud of his boots in time with the wrenching sobs coming from deep in her belly.

"You can't keep this baby from me, Lori," Shane said, running his hands through his hair.

"Whatever we thought we had between us, Shane… I'm sorry." she sobbed, starting to walk away, back into the house where Rick stood watching the two people he loved.

"You gotta tell him. He deserves to know." Shane said, grabbing Lori's arm to stop her from leaving the conversation. The sound of Rick's raspy drawl shocking them out of their argument.

Looking at this best friend cradling his wife's elbow in such an intimate way put all the pieces together for Rick.

"I deserve to know what?" he seethed, jaw flexing with the tension that had begun to build in his head.

"Rick...I" Lori began, while Shane paced the length of the porch, unable to stop himself from moving, afraid for the first time that he had done the one thing he'd promised not to do in his life, let his family down. And yet, standing there Shane knew he'd lied to himself, that he would break every bond between him and Rick if it meant being with Lori, with _their_ unborn baby.

A hiccup from Lori broke Shane out of his thoughts as he faced his best friend, his partner, he'd never loved his own father the way he loved Rick Grimes.

"Rick." Lori began "It was an accident."

"Accidents are things that happen out of your control Lori. You're _pregnant,_ " he said, leaning into her face, head cocked to the side like he'd expected this all to be some sort of sick joke.

"Rick," she said, the pitch of her voice coming higher as her body racked with sobs. It had been moments of weakness, but Rick didn't know that. He believed in this moment of apocryphal intent, how else could he fathom that his best friend and wife were having a baby together. In the moment Rick was immobile, a simmering anger on the precipice of spilling over. Before he could do anything he'd regret later he turned around, walked through his house and back out the front door. Noting the still half full glasses of lemonade on the front porch, Rick got into his car swiftly departing the ranch.

* * *

It had all started with betrayal.

Michonne had come home early on Saturday afternoon after her visit to old man Greene's farm. The veterinarian had quickly become her mentor over the last eight months and while she did some minimal work in veterinary science, she'd grown fond of helping around the farm. When Hershel had called about her sick horse Flame, she'd scurried over hoping to assist in whatever capacity she could. Getting out of the white 98 Dodge Dakota, Michonne parked on the left in the two-car garage of their modest two-story brick home. After visiting the splendor of the two-story farmhouse with the wraparound porch and white molding, just 40 minutes from her home, she thought about what it'd be like to live outside of the city again. Her husband had taken the coaching position at the University of Tennessee and they'd done rural before, in Georgia for Michonne's fellowship and research. She'd liked being around the farms and getting to know her local farmers at the time, but had quickly decided urban was her favorite type of living. When her husband, who had played college football was asked to become **the** star coach of the Volunteers, there was no debate about it. Hell, Tennessee to Georgia wasn't that far and the quieter live in Knoxville was a change from the fast pace of Atlanta for both of them. Michonne had taken a sabbatical from UGA to support her husband and had planned to see if any local farmers were looking for an agricultural scientist for hire. She did not imagine she'd be spending her time out of the lab and the field in a state of abeyance, doing the laundry while he paid the bills working to bring this little football team that could to the 'big time' as he called it. They'd been there for eight months, and she was applying for Professor positions at the University of Tennessee in the Agricultural Sciences & Natural Resources department. The public university was an estimable school and the department was producing some interesting work. She always thought of herself as a mousy nerd type, especially when she was one of maybe three black women in her field at any given time depending on the university.

Her husband's car was in its spot on the right and she knew that their son was on some boy scout afternoon outing. Her 10-year-old was obsessed with the boy scouts and was determined to get all that rugged cowboy, backwoods training his former city slicking life deprived him. Knoxville was a city, but Atlanta, now that was a metropolis. Andre was lugubrious about the move until Michonne promised him adventure in his new life.

Stopping to take her riding boots at the door, the sound of her husband's voice could be heard loudly, his tone terse. It always peeved her that he would walk around the house with his phone's speaker announcing the conversation he was engaged in. When they first began cohabitation, it was endearing, as if he wanted her to know she could trust him. Years later, with headphones and other cordless options, it was just plain rude. The unfamiliar female voice coming muffled out of the phone followed by her husband's seething "NO. That is not how this works."

The woman's tone angry, morose even, as she almost screeched.

"You don't get a say, it's my choice! I'm keeping it." followed by bitter sobs. Michonne stood in the foyer, while her husband's back was turned to her, He stood by the electric fireplace his hands resting above the mantle that held family photographs and an array of wood carved animals, he'd collect for her when he was away.

"I'm not taking care of it. I told you, Karen"

"What did you tell me, Ty… when you were on your knees begging me to stay with you. You said you were leaving her"

"And I will, but this kid," he said with a heavy sigh, his broad shoulder slumping in defeat. From across the room, Michonne stood, arms akimbo watching her life fall to pieces. Her errant breathing causing her to clutch at her chest, white spots forming in her line of vision as the faint feeling of dizziness took shape, and then, darkness.

A/N: Hey y'all. So my life is a disaster and full of mess, but I've been sitting on this story for a hot (fire emoji) minute and wanted to get it started. This is a mini-fic so max 5-7 chapters. I've been listening to a lot of Paula Cole and 'Where have all the Cowboys gone' was on repeat in my head. Finally, I decided this song deserved a Richonne retelling. Come on! So, please enjoy this little slice of my imagination. Also, points for spotting how I've incorporated the lyrics and narrative from the song in the story. Thanks for reading in advanced. I'm working on updating all my stories- my best, my worst, my blorst, AZ


	2. Chapter 2

It had continued with departure...

The faint sound of the door closing woke Michonne. With bleary eyes, she glanced over at the man in a hospital gown peeking through the slit in the door. His exposed back showing peaks of peached tinted skin, while his forearms were bronzed. Michonne registered the 'farmers tan' with a bit of a smirk, before clearing her throat. The startled man glanced in her direction before registering he'd just entered someone's room, assuming it was empty.

"You're not a doctor" she supplied, watching the clean-shaven man, blush under her observation. Tilting his head to the side, he smirked at her, obviously embarrassed at his misstep. He lifted his right hand to rub against his face and placed it down noting the cast before expelling a deep sigh.

"No ma'am. I'm hidin' out for a minute if you don't mind," he replied.

"It's fine. Why don't you stay a while, we can watch some TV." she offered, realizing that it would be even more awkward if he just stood by the door in his gown.

"Thanks for the offer ma'am, but I should get back to my room," he said, his twang reminding her of the old farmers she used to work with back home. The thought made her heart clench as she remembered why she was in this hospital bed in the first place. How she'd managed to get concussed in her own home.

"Well thanks for the visit..." she said, waiting for the stranger to supply a name. "Rick," he said, walking away from the door to shake her hand. He reached out to his right, before realizing again that it was covered in a cast. Redirecting he extended his left hand which she took. "I'd say nice to meet you Rick, but, we're both in the hospital," she said with a small smile, her coffee-colored eyes twinkling.

"Well, ma'am" he began "It's Michonne." she offered, to which he nodded. "Well Michonne, considering my life is a walkin' night-mare, it's nice to see a friendly face."

"You and me both," she said, gesturing for him to have a seat to which he declined again.

"Boxing match?" she asked, gesturing to his covered arm, the cast going up to his elbow.

"Nah Michonne. Got jolted out my car by some teenagers. Was tryin' to clear my head." he offered, and she didn't know why she felt she could trust this stranger, but he seemed like someone that could use a friend.

"What brought you to the big house?" he asked with a self-satisfied smile like it was the funniest joke ever. Michonne rolled her eyes at his humor but gave a little chuckle.

"Blacked out and apparently hit my head. So I'm here for observation." she offered, a grimace forming on her face and tears welling in her eyes. God, she didn't want to cry in front of a stranger.

"Sorry to hear, I should be gettin' back. My boy's probably gonna come by," he said.

"You have a son?" she asked with a little airiness to her breath, of course, he had a kid, with jokes like that.

"Yeah, Carl. He's 12 going on 30. We live on a farm outside of the city." he said.

"Looks like we have a lot in common. I have a 10-year-old," she said, beaming with pride. "Andre, he's going through some mutant puberty that makes him both reckless and wise. Hard combination for a mom," she said, to which Rick nodded.

Registering his line of work she asked. "You're a farmer?"

"Yes, ma'am Michonne" Michonne mumbled figures glancing at the distinct different coloration of his arms, neck, and face with the peaks of lighter skin on his back from the gown. She wasn't sure if it was an appropriate time to ask a stranger who was obviously hiding out from something or someone if he was hiring, but she was in the hospital, and he entered her room.

"Well lucky you. I'm an Agricultural Scientist. If you're looking for help with your yields this spring, I can help. I specialize in grains, but also have some veterinary experience."

Searching out her purse that Tyrese had brought to her earlier in the day she gestured for Rick to hand it to her. Michonne rummaged through her bag until she found her business card, appropriate time or not, Michonne had to think about her future, her and Andre's and getting work and away from her lying snake of a husband was the first thing on her still concussed mind.

"Take it," she said, handing him the card and watching him fumble for a place to put it before deciding he'd just keep it in his free hand.

"I might just take you up on that Michonne," Rick said. Michonne watched him ponder over something that was obviously on his mind but didn't think it was appropriate to ask, so she looked over at the door.

"I'm sure Carl is missing you," she said, giving him a smile and dismissing him. "Go on, and call me when you're starting your nursery."

Michonne slid back into her hospital watching her surprise visitor take egress into whatever "night-mare" he was avoiding. A ball of panic resting in her stomach at the realization that her nightmares were only just beginning.

* * *

A week later, Michonne sat at the kitchen island waiting for her husband to return from when he came, one of the circles of hell as far as she was concerned. Andrea had been put to bed and after ample negotiations, Michonne had conceded to take him with her to her next visit to the Greene farm.

The door to the mudroom opened, revealing an exhausted-looking Tyrese. A time before, she'd have been there to offer a kind word or a relaxing gesture to the man she so loved. His mocha skin, which always seemed to glisten in the twilight would bring a flush of heat and recognition to her face, knowing that they had built a life, _this life_ , together. But tonight, the heartache's on her and she knew what she had to do. An old friend from Atlanta had suggested she get a clear answer from him about what she's heard before her concussion. They hadn't talked about it, and he had assumed that she passed out from exhaustion, not from the revelation of his transgression over speakerphone.

"Ty, you're home late." she offered, looking at him while he worked around the stainless steel kitchen, before settling on a beer from the fridge. "I'm sorry honey. The guys were not up to snuff today. We had to try a few maneuvers which meant practice went late." he replied, placing a chaste kiss on her temple before taking a seat across from her at the kitchen island. Unmoved by his platitudes, Michonne took a fortifying breath before asking "So you weren't at Karen's house?" Michonne watched her husband's face fall in shock, looking like a deer in the headlights, his smooth skin wrinkled in confusion, before relaxing in realization. "Don't lie to me, Ty. We have been doing this too long for you to start lying to me more," she said, watching him nod in understanding.

Tyrese was a lot of things for Michonne, her friend first, and later a confidant. He was kind and loving, and he treated her well. She believed in the man sitting in front of her, so to know, that he had lied to her and was having a child with another woman, broke her heart.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, watching her shoulder slump. There was a moment when Michonne had believed that maybe he hadn't heard right, that maybe the concussion had concocted the whole thing, but it was real.

"When were you planning on leaving me?" she asked.

"I wasn't Michonne… I-I-uh" he started, tripping over himself as he realized that he'd admitted that to Karen.

"That's what you said to Karen, isn't it. That you were going to leave me- leave us- so… when are you leaving?" she asked again, feeling the full weight of his betrayal wash over her in a flash of heat.

"Or, were you just going to let _Karen_ get rid of your mistakes, while we continued to play house?" Standing abruptly Michonne walked to the refrigerator, taking a bottle of water out. Leaning against the kitchen counter, she crossed her arms, waiting for him to say something. The pounding of her heart in her eyes overwhelmed her in the moment as she watched her partner of 12 years wrestling with what to say next.

"Michonne, I'm sorry," he said, and all of the honestly he felt in that moment registered to her, and yet, it wasn't enough. "Leave" she seethed, watching him gather his wits before turning towards the door. "I am sorry Michonne." he said, "I still love you."

"Not enough Ty. Now leave and go be with your family. You don't want us anymore." she said, turning her back to him and flinching at the sound of the door clicking. Her entire life for so long, gone.

* * *

It had continued with departure...

A light dusting of snow began as Rick turned in for the back hurt from working on the tractor and he'd been waiting for a cup of coffee all afternoon. Walking into his kitchen the familiar sound of Lori moving around brought him back to reality. After his stay in the hospital, they'd talked for once and he said he wanted to make it work. A month later he watched the ghost of his wife float around their home offering him a little something to eat. He'd acquiesced and took a seat at the dining room table while she flitted about, putting a cup of coffee and a sandwich down in front of his place setting. Taking a seat to his right, Rick watched her move her bangs out of her eyes. She'd always looked pretty with bangs he remembered. They'd known each other their entire lives, and yet, as he watched her sit at the table waiting for him, he realized that maybe he didn't know her at all. Maybe he'd been wrong and absent and maybe if he'd tried more she wouldn't be having his best friends baby.

Taking a bite of his sandwich she glanced at him with hesitation. Rick knew that look, it was one she had when she'd made a decision and was going to tell him something he didn't want to hear. Her solicitous behavior, wringing of her hands and combing through her hair, a dead giveaway.

"Lori, what's wrong?" he asked, watching her face register that he knew her so well.

"You always knew me so well," she whispered, wiping a little at her eyes. Rick knew that he was watching his marriage dissolve like ashes, and he also knew that he was partly to blame. As a husband, he always tried to give her everything she wanted, but in his years, he'd come to realize that maybe he couldn't and that hollowness that came from knowing that always made him a little resentful.

"I'm…" Lori began, wiping the tears that fell in earnest down her cheeks. Her niveous flesh growing rosy with labored breath.

"Rick, I'm leaving." she finally said, watching his crestfallen face at the revelation he'd been dreading for weeks. He hadn't seen Shane off, but he knew that this day was coming. He knew that Shane would want his baby and that Lori, despite everything he'd heard her say, wanted Shane.

"Al-right" he drawled slowly. "Lori…"

"No Rick, I'm sorry. I loved you." she started "Loved?" he asked, wondering how they'd gotten to past tense so quickly. "And I hope that someday you'll forgive me for what a mess I've made, but I've got to go live my life," she said.

Yes, Rick was angry, and yes he was betrayed but Rick also knew that if she stayed it wouldn't have been for him. Always so stoic, Rick found his voice. "I'm sorry it came to this Lori, I love you," he said, and maybe it was knowing that there wasn't anything more to say, but he felt like this was it. The woman he knew and loved for all of his life had died after Thanksgiving and wasn't coming back. Her ghost haunted his life for the last month and he was ready to let her go, because sometimes there is no prairie song, and happy endings are just prologs for sad lives.

"Carl?" he asked, after Lori had managed to compose herself. "What about Carl?" she offered, "Carl's not going," he said with finality. Watching the pained expression flit across her brow at the realization that he was willing to let _her_ go without a fight, but would never give up his boy stung.

"Rick…" she said with exasperation, and like a finely tuned string, Rick snapped.

"You think Shane is gonna take my wife _and_ my boy Lori? Is that it? That my boy is gonna call him daddy?... No! Carl stays with me." he said, pointing a finger at his chest. And she could have fought him on it, but she knew that one betrayal was enough for a lifetime, two for an eternity, so a third, one as big as taking away the one good thing between them would never work.

"Ok, Rick. Carl stays. But we figure out vacations and visitations." she says, feeling wrecked with trepidation and resolve. Carl was her child, and he was Ricks, they both deserved some good in this world.

* * *

On New Year's day, Rick watched his wife walk through security at the Knoxville airport on a one-way ticket back to Georgia. His son, standing stoically beside him didn't shed a single tear as she waved to them, her eyes glistening with tears. When she disappeared to the other side of the terminal, Rick and Carl walked back to his truck and took the long road home. Carl's body turned out towards the landscape scattered with hills and shops along the strip, headed towards the farm the two let the cold of the January air settle around them. Finally, Rick broke the silence.

"Carl," he said, jousting his son out of his thoughts. "Don't dad. She's gone and it's all your fault. You didn't even fight for her," Carl said, watching his father's face, his brows furrowing into a deep frown.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Carl. One day you'll understand that some battles you can't fight." he offered with regret. "I love your mother Carl, but she… She wanted somethang else, and the right thang to do, the only thang to do was to let her find that out on her own. Sometimes loving someone isn't everythan to keep a life together Carl, sometimes thangs break… but they can still grow."

Carl rolled his eyes at his father impassioned speech. In his nascent mind, he felt like his father had given up on their family, but Rick knew that with time, Carl would see that a life forged in sadness, in betrayal wasn't one to have, and maybe, just maybe in spring, new growth would occur.


	3. Chapter 3 say goodbye

Rick:

In the third month of his separation from Lori, Rick received a manila envelope. He'd been busy preparing for the last frost and seeking seasonal help. His relationship with Carl was strained to put it nicely and there wasn't much to be done in the way of paying penance for something he couldn't help and Carl's churlish behavior towards him didn't aid the matter. His initial sense of failure at his marriage osculated from him feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility to chicanery. The deception of his best friend and wife existed, and the product of that deception continued to grow every day inside of her. Opening the envelope he proposed the divorce papers like a man walking towards the gallows. This was the death of an idea, and yet, it was also the end of a lifetime, a time to say goodbye.

Taking the papers to his newly remodeled home office, Rick rummaged through a drawer of old papers in search of a pen. Of course, he'd thrown everything in that drawer while he'd painted the modestly sized room a calm grey, and added a desk and work chair. It didn't scream "fancy", but it was somewhere to put all of the files for the farm, and now that he'd found some time to go over all of his fathers' affairs, both literal and figurative, Rick had decided to put on his boots and _be_ the farmer. He'd have to own this side of his life like he had when he was a cop. His new identity required him to say goodbye to the life he believed he would always live. Rick perused the document before reigning himself to have his lawyer Sasha Williams give it one last confirmation before he signed. While placing the documents back into the drawer, he noticed a thin business card resting on a pile of oversized papers. Gingerly picking up the cardstock in his hand he remembered the brief interactions between himself and its owner. Milling over whether he could even afford the services, he retrieved his financial ledger. After careful consideration, Rick dialed the number and requested a consultation meeting. Rick hung up after saying goodbye, wondering just how the next growing season would look with a little help from an expert.

Michonne:

Michonne watched Andre put the finishing touches on his recently acquired Forestry merit badge, the smile gracing his bronze baby face lighting up the room. After Ty moved out of their house weeks ago, Andre had withdrawn into himself. The genuine curiosity and joy in his hazelnut colored eyes dulled by the revelation that his parents were not going to be living together. Michonne hadn't explained that their family was expecting another baby, but it wouldn't be her baby. During the last conversation with Tyrese, Michonne had told him in no uncertain terms that he had to tell Andre about why they were no longer together. It was his mess to explain away and she wasn't the one to say goodbye to their relationship, their marriage. After a little corralling, Michonne got Andre into her new Chevy Silverado and headed for the farm. The Doge, like her marriage, had to go in one fell swoop, she said goodbye without reservation. She sold it off to some guy with a mullet who had an affinity for "white cars from the best decade in these United States history…the 1990's" and who apparently used the phrase "hunky dory" unironically. It was her third visit, and due to Ty's coaching schedule and some scheduling conflicts, he was her travel companion for the trip.

"Do you think I can get another merit badge if I help around the farm?" Andre asked, curious how he could turn this trip into an opportunity to get more badges and impress the other scouts.

"Why don't we ask when we get there? I'm sure there'll be some work over the season that you can do to earn a badge." Michonne offered, watching his smile return as he bounced in his seat. She shook her head at his buoyancy and wondered how much sugar she fed the poor boy because he was mercurial. The radio, which had been turned low, came to life have they sat in silence. Michonne smiled as the rich alto of Mary J. Blige's voice came from the speakers.

 _While all the time that I was loving you  
You were busy loving yourself  
I would stop breathing if you told me to  
Now you're busy loving someone else_

For a moment Michonne wondered if someone was reading her life story, cuz Mary was speaking to her in that moment. Michonne watched Andre out of the corner of her eyes, as she turned the volume up a bit more, humming along to the lyrics of her whole ass life, and she felt exposed and ruined and yet as Mary affirmed her refusal to cry for someone not worth her tears Michonne knew it to be true. She thought about being a teen and watching Waiting to Exhale and not understanding why Bernese would burn her husbands things, but now she knew. Life imitating art so vividly. She wished in that moment that she'd set every last piece of Tyrese's life on fire, but knew that her sweet loquacious Andre didn't deserve his life to blow up. He deserved a chance to watch his parents be civil, even if she wanted to burn his shoes in the bathtub. She said goodbye to her anger, again as Mary's voice faded. Turning onto the dirt road leading up to the main house a lone figure stood on the front porch, waiting.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: Team! I'm so sorry for the delay. I'm working on the last two/three chapters of this story. It's a mini-fic so expect the final chapters by Sunday. Life has been like season 7 for me, and I had to do some battle with my personal Negan, so apologies.

Thanks for reading. We'll get to the healing so soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Then, there was a friendship...

Michonne:

Merle's bar, a watering hole for the locals stood just off route 441. The wooden structure had seen better days, with a gravel parking lot and a Miller neon sign hanging to indicate it was open. Not that the place ever really closed. Michonne walked into the dimly lit bar which houses a large mahogany bar, some pool tables, and a small dance floor, a bit weary, but optimistic. She had been coaxed to coming out by her new friends at the farm who spent time here seemingly every single day of the week. The rambunxious crew sat to the side of the bar in a corner, pitchers of beer haphazardly passed around. The sound of boisterous laughter came from the big redhead with the handlebar mustache, Abraham. Sat to his right was Daryl Dixon, and in the kitty corner, nursing a beer absentmindedly sat her boss, Rick. Michonne didn't know how she ended up working with a bunch of rough and tumble types, but found that they were good company. After greetings were exchanged, Michonne sat beside Daryl who had vacated his seat for her. Michonne smiled at his kindness as she talked shop with Rick and Abraham. The first thirty minutes passed quickly, while Michonne laughed at Abraham's attestations that he was gonna find himself a new wife, one that would result in some fresh pancakes, or whatever he meant. Twenty minutes later, Michonne heard her name as she saw her new friend from yoga class enter the bar. Michonne watched Rick's expression turn to one of surprise as Sasha walked to the group.

"You made it." Michonne sighed with relief. Although she enjoyed the company of her coworkers, having lady friends was always something she valued, and for the last four months, Sasha filled a hole in her life she desperately needed.

"Traffic was terrible, and I had to figure out what to wear since we're headed to horror movie country," Sasha said. Michonne didn't really know how to respond to Sasha's statement about the fact they were in the sitx but, she just scoffed a bit, shaking her head.

"Hey Rick. How's Carl?" Sasha asked causing Michonne to balk at the 'it's a small world' moment.

"He's fine Sasha. How's Pico?" he asked about her brown labrador.

"Not to interrupt the circle jerk that's about to happen, but what the hell is a Pico?" Abraham asked, causing everyone to smirk. Rolling her eyes, Sasha turned back to Rick and said "Pico's fine. Graduated from doggy daycare with flying colors." Michonne watched the exchange between the two wondering how they knew each other but didn't want to ask. Rick was her boss, and she was contracted to help his plants grow and his animals remain healthy. To deal with the silence that followed Michonne introduced everyone, while Daryl returned with another pitcher of beer.

A squeal took Michonne out of her conversation with Rick about how they could increase their personal composting. Turning around Michonne saw Hershel's baby girl standing at the bar with a strapping young man. Michonne smiled at Maggie, who introduced everyone to her boyfriend Glenn. To Michonne's surprise Maggie greeted Abraham, Rick, and Daryl.

"Local vet's kid." Daryl offered, watching confusion cross Michonne's face. With everyone settled in their corner, the conversation continued. Abraham had taken a shine to Sasha and Michonne watched the two rib on one another out of the corner of her eye. The clearing of Rick's throat got out-out of her nosy watching.

"Umm.. What was that?" Michonne asked, glancing at Rick to see his smirk. "I said, you and Andre wanna come by and watch Ulga give birth this weekend?" to which Michonne hummed an affirmative. Ulga was Michonne's favorite sow, and since she'd started working with Rick a couple months ago, she'd gotten comically close to the cow. Rick would make fun of her, in his own way. "Ulga is close, isn't she? Damn, gotta get the popcorn ready for that." Michonne said, to which Rick shook his head. They discussed bringing in Dr. Greene to assist and made plans. After a few more rounds and a concrete plan to meet for Ugla's "b-day" as Michonne called it, Michonne got into her Chevy, headed for home.

* * *

 ****Then, there was a friendship...

Rick:

Rounding the corner of the barn Rick saw Carl dragging Andre along to feed the cattle. Somewhere between planting season and growing season, the two boys had developed a rapport. Rick heard Carl instructing Andre to extend his hand farther into the stall to give the calf more food. Chuckling to himself, he watched in amusement as the boys discussed what it'd be like to be a cow and how much you could eat if humans had extra stomachs.

"I can already eat a whole pizza, so eating two pizza, that would be so cool," Andre stated as if measuring your coolness by the number of pizzas was a given. Carl nodded in appreciation, while Rick inwardly groaned at the idea of feeding his child even more. The kid could take down a week's worth of groceries in just a few days, much to Rick's dismay. He'd started cooking more now that Lori was gone, and the thought of her, and that brought him a pronounced pang of sadness. He wondered if it would always be this way, this inveterate reckoning when he thought about his ex.

The patter of feet took him out of his thoughts as Michonne walked up to the front of the barn. She sent him a smile that matched the firmament of the calm August day, and he reminded himself again that they were friends. Somewhere between working with her a few days a week, he realized that maybe his feelings weren't always so friendly. Watching their boys work together made him pine for something he hadn't felt in years, a desire for closeness, comradery, and she brought him a sense of peace he didn't know he needed.

"What are the Wonder Twins doing now?" she asked, tapping him on the shoulder. He noticed her hand linger a moment too long but dismissed it as a sign of friendship, unless. Quickly shaking his head like a pup, he smiled at her comment. "Talkin' bout havin' two stomachs and how much pizza they could eat." He said with a smirk.

"Just what I need. Andrea already eats me out of house and home," she notes. "Same. Carl here isn't gonna go to college if he keeps eating the way he does. His grocery bill costs as much as tuition, I'm sure." Rick surmises. The bell-like chime of her laughter caught him off guard, he'd come to rely on her lightness in the darkest period of his life.

"Come now Rick, I'm sure it's not that bad," Michonne said, bumping her shoulder against his and plastering a smile on. Rick just shrugged, to which she laughed in earnest.

"Well you can always confirm by eatin' with us sometime," Rick said, not sure where it was coming from. After all, they went to bars together and would occasionally sit on the porch for lunch, but dinner was _personal._ A tyro when it came to ladies, Rick wasn't sure what the protocol was for asking folks out, and he told himself it was a harmless request. The silence that stretched had him second-guessing his ask when she said "Sure Rick." A bug-eyed Rick turned to a bashful Michonne, cocking his head to the side for confirmation. "Yeah?" he asked, breathy and excited. "Yeah. I'd like that," she replied, before giving him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and scampered over to their children.


	5. Chapter 5 yippee yo

Until, it became something more…

Rick:

Rick sat on the porch nursing a beer in his hand. It was October, and they'd managed to get them a bountiful harvest in September. At Michonne's suggestion, they started a small pumpkin patch, which brought a surprising number of people to the farm. He'd considered doing a bigger harvest next year. The lambent sun was setting in the sky and he'd taken a moment to collect himself. Familiar footsteps creaked the one floorboard at the screen door. He smirked as Michonne emerged from the farmhouse, a towel in her hand.

"You didn't have to do that." he said, gesturing to the beer he'd brought out for her on the table beside his seat.

"It wasn't a problem. I said I'd watch the dishes if you made dinner." she offered with a shrug. They'd been doing this a lot since he'd asked her and Andre to dinner in August.

"Well, I'm thankful." he said, tapping the bottle in her hand and saluting her, causing her to smirk at his words.

"Before you ask, they're on the back porch going through all the junk they found on the hike last week." Michonne said. Rick nodded, glad that Carl had found a true friend in Andre as he had in Michonne, well not just how he'd found in Michonne maybe. After a lot of cajoling form Andre, Rick relented to let Carl join his boy scout troop and the two were working to get Carl 'up to snuff' with badges. The process also brought the two parents together a lot more, now that a majority of Michonne's work on the farm was over and she'd started teaching again.

"They aint gonna stop with the badges huh?" Rick asked her with a gleam in his eyes. "Nope. Carl's on a mission to get to "Andre's level". Whatever that means." Michonne said, taking a swig of beer and giggling. Rick noticed he'd been doing that a lot more, giggling, and looking down at his hands. Rick glanced at his hand and realized he'd somehow forgot to take his wedding ring off, even after the divorce was final and Lori had given birth to a daughter. Before, he felt the ring was fatuit, a vigil of sorts to the life he once had.

Today, however, it felt _wrong_ to have this relic stand between him and a future. It was the first time Rick had thought of the future with a smile. Beyond concerns for the farm, his fear that Carl would grow to resent him, his misgivings about Lori and Shane, the future looked bleak. But sitting on the porch with Michonne, while their kids worked on a project, while he enjoyed a meal with someone he'd come to respect and admire, it felt _right._ Michonne nudged his shoulder to break him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry." he grumbled, to which she shrugged. "What's rattling him that head Grimes?" she asked, an expectant look covering her face, and her kind eyes softening as he raised his left hand, pointing to the third digit.

"You still have that thing on?" she asked with a bit of a scoff. He understood why she'd be much more relieved to take her ring off, he got it, but it still didn't make it hurt any less.

"Was thinkin' I'm done holding vigil for my marriage." Rick had honestly.

"Oh Rick!" Michonne said. "You're allowed to be sad about what happened. Especially since the holidays are coming up." she said, reaching out to take his hand.

"How did you let it go Michonne?" Rick asked, a maudlin feeling encompassing him. Rick never considered himself sentimental, but the ring held him steadfast, until now.

"I didn't Rick. I didn't let it go, I just moved on. Ty and I were together for so long it took me by surprise. But life is a series of event, both good and bad that make us live. _We get to live Rick_ , and our shitty ex's don't get a say on how we do that. You don't have to let the years you spent with Lori go. You can decide for yourself what living, _really living_ looks like in the after." Rick smiled at her words.

"You gonna charge me for that advice?" he said, to which a rambunctious guffaw emanated from her chest.

"That one's free. But next month, it'll cost you," she said softening as he reached over to take her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you Michonne." Rick offered, his thumb absentmindedly running along the top of her soft skin.

"No problem Rick. Going to therapy gave me so much perspective. I don't get to give up on who I am because my ex-husband was a dog. I get to grow into the person I always wanted to be." she said, squeezing his hand in return.

"Amen." Rick said, closing the door on the conversation. The thud of the screen door took the two out of their bubble as Carl and Andre sat on the porch steps, talking a mile a minute about their next badge goals and other pre-teen things.

"Ma" Andre said when he noticed his mother's distracted behavior. "Yes, Andre?" Michonne inquired. "Are we gonna stay a while?" he asked. Rick could see the hopefulness in the youth's eyes. It was the weekend and still a little early, so he didn't see anything wrong with them staying. Actually, he was hoping she'd say yes. Nodding a confirmation at the 'what do you think' look Michonne threw his way, she turned to her son and said "Ok Andre. We'll stay for a while."

* * *

Until, it became something more…

Michonne:

She didn't know when she started saying 'we' but like with most things in her life, the universe had other plans. Whether it was speaking to Daryl about their outing for the after Christmas or with Tyrese himself about when he could pick up their son, she'd started referring to Rick and Carl as a part of _her_ unit.

Michonne pulled into the parking lot of Merle's bar. It was New Year's Eve and for some reason, Tyrese had asked to keep Andre with him. She knew he felt bad about the Christmas fiasco which left him and Karen at the hospital and a dejected Andre. She felt a sense of sympathy for Karen who had gotten some strange flu that sent her and the baby t the hospital for days. She remembered those new mom days, and also knew deep down that Tyrese was doing the best he could for the mother of his child, she didn't begrudge him that, but he was pushing it with leaving her son high and dry on the holidays.

Shaking out of her thoughts she ran her hands over the fabric of her New Years dress. She didn't wear dresses like this often and had felt a pull to wear something nice for herself, and Rick. There it was, the thought which she'd spent the last few weeks working through. She'd find herself in bed thinking about the man whom she'd found a true friend and confident in, in non-friendly terms. Wondering what he looked like in the morning, whether he listened to music in the shower like she did. It was inappropriate, but it was there, and Michonne was tired of denying her feelings. They were real, and after they'd talked about moving on and getting over in October, they'd fallen into a routine. They'd spent so much time together over the last two months she hadn't taken a second to consider how it would be construed by others. Truthfully she didn't give a big s about what anyone thought at this point, but she wondered what he wanted. Her therapist Deanna asked her when she began this journey of healing what she wanted for a life. In the moment she was struck by the question, she knew she needed security, and resolution, but wants were for neophytes and children and people who had time, wants weren't for women in their 30's who had given their lives to someone to only experience betrayal. Wants were for girls who were deciding to study in Europe for the summer to 'find themselves'. And yet, after months of self-reflection, of denial, of prevaricate dodging she saw herself sitting in her Chevy, in her brand new dress hoping she'd get noticed by a special someone and _wanting_ to be wanted, to have her desires reciprocated. She wanted a life, not new and shiny as the romantics' harp on, no, not a new life but an honest one. She _wanted_ , and tonight she was going to go for what she wanted and worry about the fall out later. She was going to be brave tonight because she knew deep down that women like her get to want, get to ask, and hopefully receive what's theirs.

Walking through the heavy wooden door Michonne spotted her crew in their corner. Abe was, of course, gesticulating wildly about something, while Sasha sat beside him, her hands covering her ears as of asking him to stop the shenanigans. Daryl sat talking to his date, Paul, as the younger man leaned affectionately against his person. Looking around Michonne also noticed that Maggie had come with Glenn, whom Michonne had taken under her wing as an apprentice of sorts. The young woman wanted to follow in the family business of farming, and Michonne had taken to her like a duck to water. Glenn had struck a golden relationship with her son and had become an older brother of sorts to him. Michonne sauntered over to the group, greeting everyone and shelling out hugs, glancing around for one member in particular. Moments after taking her seat and nursing a drink, Michonne felt a calloused hand on her elbow. The familiar touch relaxed her, as she turned to face Rick. She glanced at his hand which continued to rest against her skin and smiled at him. His smirk in return calmed her nerves and pumped blood in her veins.

"You're late." she said, gesturing for him to sit beside her. "Sorry." he replied without an explanation. "It's fine. What was keeping you?" she pried. The downturn frown which accompanied her question was all the answer she needed, Lori. "That bad huh?" she followed to which he grunted. "Later?" she asked, "Yeah, later. Right now I'd like a drank and some company… if you're up for it." he said quirking an eyebrow at her. Michonne slid her drink to him and he took a hearty sip without words, keeping eye contact as he swallowed the watered down beverage. "Water Michonne?" he asked laughing a little. "No Rick. It's been melting waiting for you." she said. "Let me get you a proper drank than." he said, to which she smirked and replied "You know what I like." and he did.

 _I said, I wanna touch the earth  
I wanna break it in my hands  
I wanna grow something wild and unruly  
I wanna sleep on the hard ground  
In the comfort of your arms  
On a pillow of blue bonnets  
In a blanket made of stars  
Oh, it sounds good to me_

"Come on!" Michonne said, dragging him to the small dance floor as the Dixie Chicks began to play. Rick had grumbled all night that he wasn't gonna dance, but Michonne had left him little choice in the matter. Although the song was a bit more uptempo than their current two-step, Rick relaxed into Michonne's velvety arms as she rested her head against his shoulder, humming along to the song. When the chorus started up, her rich alto took the lower harmony as she sang along which Rick ran his hands down her back absentmindedly. She didn't know when they'd started touching like this, like they were familiar, like lovers, but she welcomed the warmth and strength of his arms.

 _Cowboy take me away  
Fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue  
Set me free, oh, I pray  
Closer to heaven above and closer to you  
Closer to you_

Michonne glanced up at him and watched his features relax, eyes closed, hands wandering, a smirk playing across his lips. "You've got a pretty voice," he said, coming out from wherever that was. "Thanks, Rick." she said, casting her eyes down. "Michonne" Rick drawled when he noticed her flushed features, innocent and expectant. "Thanks for the dance." he said, leaning in even closer to her. "Thank you Rick." she said, glancing into his eyes. Compelled to answer the question she'd had at night, in her bed alone, she leaned into him as his face pressed closer until their lips touched.

Taking a step back, Michonne touched her fingers to her lips, but before she could say another word Rick captured her mouth in another languid kiss, ever the largess lover, he asked and she answered, pressing closer to his body, finding purchase in his embrace. They failed to hear the countdown or the rambunctious yelping of their friends and other patrons. The world stopped as the two of them kissed each other for the first time on the cusp of a new beginning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: It may be a "couple" days late, but hopefully not some dollar short of awesome! I'm so happy this story took a lot of love and testing and I hope y'all enjoyed it. Thank's for stickin with this gal as I got myself fixed up. Thanks for the questions, comments and solid feedback! by best, my worst- AZ


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